bad man blogs a thing

Dec. 15, 2011 at 3:07pm with 18 notes

cool easy caramels

since it don’t exist anywhere except my head and i’ve had requests for it:

cool easy caramels

ingredients

1 c butter

1 lb light brown sugar

dash of salt

1 c light corn syrup

1 can (15 oz-ish) sweetened condensed milk

(note: i have made these using cream instead, but 1) you need more cream 2) the babysitting you have to do with it to prevent it from scorching/curdling isn’t worth it - don’t be scared of sweetened condensed milk because it comes in a can and looks like alien birthing goo.)

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

procedure

1. melt butter in a big pot over medium heat

2. add brown sugar and salt, stirring until completely combined.

3. blend in corn syrup.

4. gradually add sweetened condensed milk.

5. stir “constantly” - meaning walk away a few times to prepare your next batch if you’re doing another batch, and i always am - you don’t need to sit on top of it the whole time and stir, but you can if you have the wherewithal and panache - until either:

a) it hits 245 degrees (if you’re using a candy thermometer), or,

b) a small glob hardens instantly in a cup of ice-cold water

this is the tricky part. if you don’t have a candy thermometer (i don’t) you kind of just have to eyeball it. the water trick usually works, and i generally let it go a minute or two longer than i think it needs. basically, take it off the heat once the consistency of the caramel globs you’ve dropped into the ice cold water is the same consistency you want out of the final product when it’s cooled.

the color will be approximately the color of one of ryan gosling’s suits (in layman’s terms, probably 2-3 shades darker than it was when you started it). it will be very bubbly. it should taste more “complex” than it did when you started as well. you’ll know what i mean if you’re continually tasting it as it cooks, which i do, because it tastes good. it is good to eat.

6. once it’s off the heat, stir in the vanilla real quick-like.

7. pour into a prepared (buttered/sprayed/lined with foil perhaps) cooling vessel. a baking sheet with high-ish sides works great. generally i use 9 x 13 pans to get the size caramels i make, but you could make thicker caramels with a 9 x 9 pan or whatever.

8. let that fucker sit for like 2 hours before you try to do a damn thing or you’ll be sorry.

9. put it in the fridge to store, covered, if you’re not individually wrapping. if you are individually wrapping i am sorry you are going to regret it. you should still put it in the fridge and take it out when it’s completely cooled but not super hard to cut into. then cut (taking care not to damage the bottom of your pan - if you used foil you can lift the caramels out and put them on a cutting board, so, yeah, probably do this) and wrap the caramels in wax paper and twist the sides and give them to your sweetest bros.

makes about 160 caramels that are the average size of the caramels that i make. takes about 30-40 minutes including the time spent fumbling around your dumb fucking cabinet in which you can never find anything especially corn syrup which you use like twice a year for this purpose only.

addendum

cool toppings include:

orange/ginger: zest of 3 large oranges, about 3 big ole pieces of crystalized ginger, a microplane, and a lot of patience. helps to dry this out/cool it in the fridge or else it sticks together in globs. you could also cut it with a little salt if you are so inclined

himalyan pink salt/fleur de sel/other sea salt/whatever: just mix your salts together and sprinkle them on top but don’t put too much salt on like i did with the ones i just sent out to people (sorry)

spicy/sweet bacon/pretzel: for pretzels, crush up a bunch of pretzels and add cayenne and sugar. for bacon, coat the dang bacon in maple syrup, cook it in the oven, and sprinkle it with cayenne, then crumble it you know. you’ll need a good big couple handfuls of pretzels or about 6 slices of bacon if you use just one or the other; halve that if you want to put both on. i’m not sure why you would but ok.

pine nuts/hazelnuts/walnuts/pecans/whatever: just toast these bad boys first, then crush em.

the end